Margaret Cho, “Yes Means Yes” (via thewastedgeneration)
I am surprised by how much sex I have had in my life that I didn’t want to have. Not exactly what’s considered “real” rape, or “date” rape, although it is a kind of rape of the spirit - a dishonest portrayal or distortion of my own desire in order to appease another person.
I said yes because I felt it was too much trouble to say no. I said yes because I didn’t want to have to defend my “no,” qualify it, justify it - deserve it. I said yes because I thought I was so ugly and fat that I should just take sex every time it was offered, because who knew when it would be offered again. I said yes to partners I never wanted in the first place, because to say no at any point after saying yes for so long would make our entire relationship a lie, so I had to keep saying yes in order to keep the “no” I felt a secret. That is such a messed-up way to live, such an awful way to love.
So these days, I say yes only when I mean yes. It does require some vigilance on my part to make sure I don’t just go on sexual automatic pilot and let people do whatever. It forces me to be really honest with myself and others. It makes me remember that loving myself is also about protecting myself and defending my own borders. I say yes to me.
“In March, due to a natural phenomenon, Siberia’s Lake Baikal is particularly amazing to photograph. The temperature, wind and sun cause the ice crust to crack and form beautiful turquoise blocks or ice hummocks on the lake’s surface.”
Photograph by Alex El Barto.
Sweetheart, dreads have been around and used (culturally) for thousands of years, including by various germanic tribes, celts, AND scottish warriors (along with many others) of which genetically I am all of (among other things).
Please do not take this rudely, but it is 2013, almost 2014, having dreads is not meant to be and is not racist. This is why our society is never going to be fully open to anything, because there are so many people caught up on taking the SMALLEST things and turning them into a hate crime. Just because they can.
If anything, you are being racist for telling me JUST because I am white I cannot have dreads.
End of discussion.
Also, the Unfollow button is in the upper right corner of my page.
A bunch of my personal favorite photos from my faun shoot yesterday :D